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A Raw Exposé On Feeling Invisible As A Mom

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It all started with five words.

Five words on Instagram that made me stop in my tracks, and face how I truly felt.

They were:

As a mom I’m feeling…

And in response to that prompt, I reluctantly typed, “Invisible…That’s the exact emotion right now.

I stared at my comment, allowing the depth of what I had just shared to sink in.

Then a couple minutes later, my eyes widened as I muttered to myself, “Oh my gosh, I feel invisible as a mom.

I shivered.

This was new territory and it was uncomfortable.


Here’s A Little Context

You see, now that I had entered motherhood, I found myself out of the spotlight in spaces that I used to dominate.

I felt like I wasn’t enough, particularly in a world where social media metrics, digital algorithms, and well-intentioned calls magnified how I was “old news” in comparison to the adorable infant I held in my arms.

To be frank, one place it hurt the most was my brand’s online presence.

If I posted a photo of my little peanut or a photo of me with her, the likes and comments flourished.

On the other hand, if I shared a photo of just me, the engagement decreased.

I knew it wasn’t intentional, however, I began to feel less impactful, and even began to question my purpose for creating content.

I asked myself, “Is this the end of my brand?

But, as I said, that was only one aspect of my life.

In my day-to-day activities, the harsh reality of being asked about my daughter more than genuine conversations about me became another layer of invisibility I wasn’t quite prepared for.

It was quite different from pregnancy when there was a steady flow of interest in my well-being.


So I Struggled…

At first, I scolded myself for even feeling invisible as a mom. I shamed my heart for being sensitive to these things and proceeded to suppress my emotions, hoping that the next day they would disappear.

But that didn’t work.

Instead, I took a trip to very negative head space and bunked there for a few days.

During that week, I spent countless hours comparing myself to others, especially other moms who looked like they had retained the spotlight in their life despite the big life change that is becoming a parent. And of course, this comparison trap became toxic.

My idle time became a boxing ring for me to beat myself up and recount all the things I had done wrong, or how boring I was.

Add to that the general perception that ‘this is just how it is once you have a kid’, and I was thrust into an internal war.

I wanted to scream and say, “So what, I’m still a human! I’m still interesting! I’m still here!” But I also didn’t want to be judged and labeled as petty.

It sucked.

I struggled.

And I felt defeated.


But Luckily, That Isn’t The End of My Story

As I mentioned in the beginning, five simple words, ‘As a mom I feel…,‘ forced to me stop numbing my emotions and became the first step towards my ongoing healing.

Then I took a couple of minutes during my commute home to cry about it.

Yes, cry.

I needed to release my pain.

With these foundational pieces in place, I began to practice loving who I was, making sure that I shifted my attention to my self-worth.

I reminded myself that I am beautiful, I am worthy of interest and I am important.

I forced myself to focus “on [all] things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” about who I am (Philippians 4:8-9 MSG).

And in doing so, I found peace.

In doing so, I found harmony within.

Now, I can smile without any pretenses and, as Maya Angelou said, I show up in my life prepared to be myself and only myself no matter who does or doesn’t recognize it.

I am no longer invisible. I am a force to be reckoned with.


So, Are You Feeling Invisible As A Mom?

If you are, girl I get it.

And if I can speak to that wound in your heart right now, let me say this:

“I know you feel lost is in this journey. I know you feel meaningless in the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

But you are important. You are treasured beyond words.

You matter.”

[bctt tweet=”To the mom who feels invisible –> I know you feel lost in this journey. I know you feel meaningless in the beautiful chaos of motherhood. But you are important. You are treasured beyond words. You matter.” username=”baydiangirl”]

I pray that you dwell on that today. Amen.

A Raw Exposé On Feeling Invisible As A Mom
Tamara Sykes
Caribbean-Born Gal. Always Plottin' My Next Hairstyle. Encouraging women with a creative spirit to color outside the lines and live a life they love.


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